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Funny Wedding Speech OneLiner Jokes

A funny one liner joke is a good way to start a wedding speech or end it. Of course, you need to stay on the safe side and choose the clean ones. Remember, just because you and the groom think a joke is funny, doesn't mean everyone else will get it. Try and stick with jokes that everyone will understand and find some what funny. There is nothing worse then half your audience laughing and the other half thinking you're weird.

Here are few good, clean and little less clean ones that you can use and include in your wedding speech.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing, which puts a ring on a woman's finger ... and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence... (a life sentence!)

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

They lived happily until they got married.

I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

There's a husband who calls his wife an angel. That's because she's always flying around the house harping about something.

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was damned near impossible.

Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months- I don't like to interrupt her.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Why marriage is like a violin? After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

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